bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
Just pulled back my covers. Jizz. Jizz everywhere. Hipster jizz everywhere on my only set of sheets.
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
Dude I swear I'm scooping human shit out of the litter boxes. What the fuck happened last night?
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
Randomize
