good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
1.) You left the rest of your whiskey here 2.) I drank your whiskey 3.) then made a steam roller out of the bottle 4.) Everything tastes like whiskey
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
Randomize
