I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
Randomize
