it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
Have you ever woken up and said a thank you prayer to the beer gods for allowing you to wake up in the morning and still have the ability to walk and talk? Because we should.
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize
