is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
so the x-ray technician didnt buy my story of falling off a curb. she said a fall of that height couldnt snap the bone that way. bitch called me a drunken idiot too. if she wasnt so hot i'd be angry
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
You can now call me Rabbi, and I can now perform weddings, funerals, and other services in all fifty states. You're welcome, world.
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
Randomize
