Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
Lesson learned: don't hide your vodka in your little brothers toy box.
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
Literally had a conversation with the pizza as to why it was a bad idea to reach in the back seat and grab a slice while driving. The pizza was right, it was safer to just wait until I got home.
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
We found you in the bathroom at 1AM throwing money into the toilet making wishes. That drunk.
.... Seriously?
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
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