we couldnt find her phone in the morning so i called it and found it under the bed. my name came up as 'regret'
turns out Discover card thinks that if you spend $450 at four different liquor stores in one evening that the card "must have been stolen"
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
Randomize
