Wow.. I was doing a mental check of my bank balance & I literally just said to myself: 'I have 27 dollars and a bottle of tequila til tuesday-ill be fine'
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
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