it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
If I had pants on, you wouldn't be getting this text message
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
Randomize
