Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
Bad news: I had to be at work at 7:15. Good news: no one had used the bathroom yet so I got to defile a freshly cleaned stall
Dude, this old lady messaged me on Facebook talking about her grandson and wanted to know shit about me. I'd almost call her a cougar except she looks like mashed potatoes that have come alive.
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
Just to be a PITA after I die, my will leaves 1 cent to each of my FB friends. I hate my lawyer.
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
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