problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
When I woke up I had three missed calls from the name 'dream krystals'.... If I remember correctly she was the lady at the drive thru at Krystals and her name was Dream.. She wanted to come to the strip club with us... Do you remember?
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
Randomize
