oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
Im sorry for drunkenly throwing your phone into the ocean. At the time it seemed like a good way for you not to text him
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
I have unfollowed so many people the only things showing up in my newsfeed are dog rescues and sloth memes
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
I really wanted you to make me eggs this afternoon. I even wrote it on my hand to remind myself.
Randomize
