So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
Also, you tried to make me learn all of the presidents, in order, with a picture book as an aid. At 4 am. What the fuck?
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
My boss walked in on me puking in the urinal while taking a piss. Sunday funday is eroding my last shred of credibility at work.
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
Maybe they'll dismiss me from jury duty after they smell beer on me. You can't keep me in a cage and then give me an hour and a half long lunch break next to a beer fest and expect sobriety.
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
Randomize
