I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
Either I'm spending too much time drinking or my perfume is starting to smell like a pineapple vodka.
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going....
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
false alarm, still single
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
Randomize
