Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
Tell your boss that he's keeping you from eating a fuck sundae off of these 36-24-36 34 D's waiting for you at home on Valentine's Day.
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
Emergency. I brought a boy home and we fell asleep, but I just woke up to him peeing against my bedroom wall. So I brought him to the bathroom but he fell over and he's sleeping in the tub. Can I leave him there? Because that's what I've done.
Better the hardwood than the carpet, right?
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
Randomize
