Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
Randomize
