Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
It's 2016 and I'm somehow banging the milkman.
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
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