ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
I woke up to find her cooking breakfast wearing nothing but my Nuggets jersey. I don't think this could end better.
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
My mom said she saw you at the grocery store. Said you looked like you were "headed for a Lindsay Lohan quarter life crisis of sorts"
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
Randomize
