Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
you only like me because i go down faster than a bridge in minnesota
Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
I thought if I bought the most expensive pregnancy test I would look like I had my life together
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
Randomize
