look no pants
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
We are going to the humane society and getting you microchipped so you don't get lost on your birthday. Either that or your getting a child leash
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
My bad man. I was at a strip club, and apparently it's like a big deal to take your phone out in one of those places.
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
I just realized that with the new snapchat update / emoji sticker thing I can now use easily use emojis to cover my boobs in nudes.
soo... how was my night?
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
Randomize
