This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
So the same great-aunt that told me to freeze my eggs for procreation just told me that I should strut around the dance floor b/c I'd get picked up.
I need to meet your family.
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
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