you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
This is a mass text. Surprise drug testing at work today. Either I've finally got to fuck my boss or I've got to quit to make this all go away. Please respond with option a or b.
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize