Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
Ok...drunk girls at the bar are charging $1 for motorboating. It's fucking WEDNESDAY. I never want to leave.
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
I have aggressive nipples.
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
He was actually surprised when I poured myself a glass full of straight vodka. Clearly he doesn't know me as well as he thinks.
Randomize
