direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
You know what's fun. When your getting a new mattress and you forget you put your vibrator under your old mattress and the moving guy finds it
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
I guess I asked for the two old strippers numbers at the end of the bar and it turned out to be the bartenders mom and aunt...
Randomize