the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
Just flooded the bathroom while masturbating in the shower. Managed to squeege most of it up. Desperately need to get laid.
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
The air I exhale reeks of whiskey and bad decisions
Randomize
