Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
my mom walked in on me smoking weed alone, listening to the eagles, and just staring at the river. she totally knew.
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
I just drunkenly accidentally had sex with my boss
Did you at least ask for a raise?
No but I am now the owner of one of either his or his roomate's teeshirts... Maybe I can use it to negotiate?
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
Randomize
