That chode just called off the engagement. I just dropped his toothbrush in the toilet. And I’ve forgotten to take my birth control for the past two weeks. He’s fucked!
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
Randomize
