these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
I'm not really that drunk, but I think vampires should glow in the dark because otherwise it's just unfair
Found more tequila
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
Randomize
