I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
I'm sorry I peed on the bushes at your law firm. Is there anyway you could defend me for the ticket I'm about to get?
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
Randomize
