my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
It was good sex. She was screaming so much I didn't know whether or not my name was Matt or God.
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
Randomize
