I must be too annoying 4 u.
i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
can't come out tonight. went to the bar again last night and the bartender hugged and thanked me so much for my "generosity." I'm intrigued but terrified to see my credit card bill.
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
i lost my phone in the process of getting a condom out of my hair
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
Randomize
