My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
I got into an eating contest with Christina. I ate 6 oranges.
Why? Who won?
we don't know. we ran out of oranges.
Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
Randomize
