As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
Just had hot animal sex with the guy who had been sending me 10 second selfie snapchats for the past month
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
I'm sharing a breakfast burrito w my uber driver
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
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