Fine. I'll sleep in my office
I think I am morally bankrupt
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
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