you would pick up someone in the library
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
i forgot how awkward it is to meet new people sober
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
Are my feet made of real feet?
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
And you were like "stop making pop tarts, lil bowow" as you grabbed the pop tarts from your ex and consumed them. Teach me your ways.
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
Imagine getting a FB inbox "hey I found your ID on the floor of a bar can you send me a mugshot so I can get a second piece of ID made?"
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
I'm basically your average "grandpa stuck in a 28 year old woman's body" - i'm super passionate about retirement and crossing on the walk signal.
and SLEEP god I love sleep
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
Randomize
