I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
Within the span of 10 minutes, I managed to make a slip 'n slide on his stomach, threatened to pee on him, kneed myself in the eye, and almost fell asleep on the toilet....in that order.
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
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