Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
you did that thing you do when youre drunk where you rant about bruce springsteen, start hooking up with someone and then pass out midway through
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
Was reaching for my vibrator this morning out of my nightstand and strained my neck muscle. I'm getting so old.
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
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