I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
You know those times when you're sitting down for a while and r like damn I'm sober but then stand up and r like WOAH HOLD UP.
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
Randomize