I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
The cop didn't care that I was peeing on the wall of my dorm building... All he said was, "come on, it's 9am."
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
10/10 dentists agree that he is one bangable mother fucker. hint: i am all of these dentists.
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
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