I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
so you had a one ended conversation with the toilet las night in between barfs. you kept telling the toilet how strong it was because its gone through a lot of shit in its life.
drunk me is so punny.
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
the semester isnt officially over until i take the batteries out of my calculator and put them back into my vibrator
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
My boss walked in on me puking in the urinal while taking a piss. Sunday funday is eroding my last shred of credibility at work.
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
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