Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
Uber driver offered to have sex with me since I went home solo. - rock bottom
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
I'm feeding a baby and swiping on tinder...what has my life come to?!?!
I had sex with two guys in one day. One on my grandma's couch, one on a golf course. This is the greatest post-surgery accomplishment I could ask for.
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
Randomize
