She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
Nothing like the It's a Small World ride at Disneyland to remind you to take your birth control. I took it on the boat yesterday
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
I'm gonna be late for work because i decided to masturbate and forgot to put my clothes in the dryer
My bald co-worker just chugged a literal gallon of coffee. My condolences to his kidneys.
Randomize
