3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
I bought a box of wine on my way home. I figured if I’m going to be broke during the holidays, I might as well be able to drink about it.
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
Randomize
