i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
How do I recover from singing "your body is a wonderland" on his voicemail?
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
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