my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
3 a.m. laundry plus 100 proof peppermint schnapps does not turn out well. Not only is there a puddle of detergent outside the laundry room that I spilled, but my clothes were found in the dryer wit a box of Franzia and a 40. Good thing I was too drunk to turn it on.
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
Randomize
