i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
You've never even broken a bone. You singlehandedly disprove natural selection
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
Randomize
