Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
Say "Steve Buscemi is hot." with a straight face.
I just found glass in my funny face pancakes, there's nothing funny about that.
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
Just had that moment when you realize the two drunk women shoving all their money down your clothes were your middle school teachers...
When this bachelor party is over and your life is in ruins, you have my permission to die.
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
When I took off my jeans he became more excited about my Elmo underwear than sex but to be fair, who can blame him. They're awesome undies.
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
Randomize
