the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ.
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
This morning I learned I traded my sunglasses for a Big Lebowski sticker at the football game.
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
Randomize
