I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
Just woke up. I have a "Detective Jacob Arnold's" business card in my pocket.
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
Apparently I told his new girlfriend to stop swallowing because she's getting fat. Oh, and I yelled this across a large room
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
He took a shit in my shoe. A part of me is livid and a part of me is impressed because that’s some real evil genius.
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