There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
Holy shit, you lost your virginity on 11/11/11. Now every time someone fucks you, they can make a wish. Your vagina has officially been transformed into a wishing well.
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
I like to imagine god has to get plastered to deal with the fact that he made you and me
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
I have a bottle of vodka wrapped in a leg warmer in my purse. This is what it takes to get through Christmas with my family.
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
Randomize
