We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
I wish pancakes were everywhere. Just pancakes. I want lilies at my wedding. No dress. Just priest. Just lilies.
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
Was just told that I slept on the counter using a loaf of bread as a pillow. Clearly my life is going well.
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
