Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
I literally stabbed myself so I had a valid reason to get out of having sex with her
You are writing your college essay comparing yourself to Lady Gaga, Vladimir Putin, and Dale Earnhardt Jr. and you are worried about the conclusion sounding cheesy?
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
It was like giving head to a cactus.
I feel like there's no sexy way to pull 12 condoms out of your bra.
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
Randomize
