your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
Dude, I just cut my asshole on the new toilet paper. If you rationed the grocery money to buy drugs, I better be getting some.
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
Randomize
