So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
you started crying because you didn't get to wear your rainboots this week so i turned on the shower and let you jump around in it
youre the best friend ever
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
Tornado booty call.. dedication
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
He told me the hickey on the side if his neck was actually a "bruise" from hitting a bird on his motorcycle. I'm not sure what's more impressive, the fact people believed him due to the size of the mark or the fact you gave it to him.
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
I JUST SNEEZED WITH A MOUTHFUL OF CHEWED UP CASHEWS AND THEY CAME OUT MY NOSE AND IT HURT AND NOW I HAVE A LITTLE NOSEBLEED
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
Randomize
