i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
Randomize
