GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
CALL 911 HAND IS STUCK IN THE GARBAGE DISPOSAL. HELP
Do we still have any pizza left from last night?
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
Randomize
