i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
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