you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
There are GROWN MEN with fake HP wands flinging curses at me in Walmart.
That's funny. Are they weird looking???
OF COURSE THEY ARE WEIRD LOOKING, THEY ARE STALKING ME IN WALMART. WITH. FAKE. WANDS.
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
