bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
Randomize
