Ben affleck wants to be a US senator. Just thought you would puke with me
Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
You're putting the star player on the bench. You dont put Michael Jordan on the bench.
Are you referring to my vagina as Michael Jordan?
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
Randomize
