HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
I'm at the perfect height to walk up to the corner of my mom's stove and rest my balls on it. Just thought you'd like to know they're warm.
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
Randomize
