Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
She just used a chaser for red wine.
I just found a bagel and a condom in my coat pocket. I love blackouts
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
When we found you, you were using the bottle of Captain as a pillow...with a note on your forehead that said don't wake up the champion.
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
Yeah like stabbing myself through the eye with a coffee stir and bleeding out all over the office rug
Randomize