How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
I get a nice feeling when i open my fridge and see it filled with thirty beers and half a leftover jimmy johns pickle.
I made out with the bride. You tell me how my night was
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
Pretty sure the guy at the Halloween party dressed as an ice cream man is working his way through the building without a care for gender or age. He high-fives me on his way out each morning.
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
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