you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
I love being Chipotle's first beer sale of the morning.
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
Had a dream that you were held at gun point. But I killed the guy. Then we embraced in the biggest hug while everyone around us clapped... Kinda how I imagine our wedding...
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
Randomize
